It’s not you, it’s me. There comes a time in every girl’s life when she has to put on her big girl panties and face the world head on. That time has come for me and let me tell you, the big girl panties are chafing my ass big time. Who the hell makes panties out of steel wool anyways? Yeah, yeah, I know, big girls don’t whine. To be fair, I’ve only had my SWBGPs for an hour and they take time to break in. But fear not, I will break in the undergarment of steel or break my junk trying.
And so with that, I bid you adieu Mr. Block of Writers. You have served me well in the past. Always providing a convenient aside from my literary duties. There were times I admit when I looked forward to your visits and the endless hours of social networking that always proceeded your knock on my door. And only you could get me to tackle the chores on the bottom half of my to-do list. Nobody likes scrubbing toilets or clearing out the junk drawer, but your type of motivation got me there many times. So thank you for that.
But as I said, it’s time for me to face the world, and there’s just no place in this new frontier for your guilty seductive ways. No more pins and posts and tweets. No more Netflix marathons that last till Monday morning. And no more staring aimlessly at blank pages vaguely wondering why there’s no words on that crisp expanse of white.
I’ll miss you writers block. You know I still love you. Deep down inside we’ll always have a connection. But for now we part ways, I to conquer the world in my iron skivvies, you to ply your charms on another slightly desperate soul. May we meet again on the other side.